ninja

fulldamage

Raised by Wolves

Gaki: writing myself Real


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ninja
fulldamage

I live in a fucking hotel

Though it's a nice one.

My apologies, to you who are trying to call or get in touch that I've been neglecting. My days at work go 10 - 14 hours, and after all that, sometimes I need to NOT communicate with anyone, though I wish you were here.

Sanschagrin is by far the coolest French Canadian name I've ever heard.

It's strange, this industry I work in now, so corporate yet determined to throw off all appearances of being corporate, until someone fucks up, and then the teeth of the Machine will grind you bloody...

A mistake was made this week. Not mine, but a serious one, a "could cost hundreds of thousands of dollars" kind of mistake by someone in my department. I am not liable for this mistake, personally... yet it puts me in the interesting position of being the sole envoy of a mistake making company, in a foreign country, working surrounded with another company who may suffer directly for that mistake. Favors are being called in tonight, strings are being pulled, phone calls are being made, but heads could roll on this one, and I am quite near ground zero.

Moving and shaking; and all for what? For video games. It's funny... the word "game" seems so trivial, by definition. Do you know how many zeroes travel from place to place in this little commercial market? Do you know that in many computer labs all over the world right now sit little teams of people like me, hammering away all day and all night, tinkering and constructing perfect little worlds made of light and logic, hypothetical menageries where the very nature of reality is ours to create or damage? Can you see as I do, the possibility that these little worlds are getting bigger and better, and that they are the gestational form of the larger lattice of light and logic that we are slowly building OUR world into?

Clones are being born. You can send me your thoughts at any time, within seconds, by pressing a few text buttons on your phone. I can step into an electronic avatar and fight with a combatant half the world away. There are goggles that I can wear that will create a virtual overlay of the buildings I look at, tap into a database, and show me the historical and architectural information that is available on these places. Our cars link to satellites and project maps of our destinations on LCD screens. Some can communicate the information verbally. I can step online and build a car, assemble a computer, find an utterly obscure book or food, and have it appear at my house within days, even hours if I have the money. There are cities powered by wind. All of these things and even more outlandish ones are CONCRETELY REAL, right now, without exaggeration.

Sooner than you realize, our daily lives and routines will be half lived in places that are not quite real, in conjured streets and hypothetical towers, lattices of light and logic. But don't make the mistake of thinking that such realities will ever preclude the sight of a smile, the warmth of a voice over shared beer, the adrenaline rush of a scuffle, the sensation of skin, the scent of breath, the language of pulse. On the contrary, as time goes by, those things only get more precious, though you may not realize it 'til they're gone. We could not be Real, without those things. We couldn't live without them.

Not sans chagrin.

You Are Missed.

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How you can be thousands of miles away and be in the same place never fails to astound me. I read your entries and laugh, every time. Like you with me, I'm not laughing at you, just with you. For lives that have only intersected a handful of times, the constant overlap reminds me that connections between people are more fragile, and yet more present than we give them credit for. People, like Potential, are precious and precarious. Your gift for linking the metaphysics of lattices and light and logic to the lingering tingle of a laugh never fail awaken the hope. And awaken the fight.

So give me a call, damnit. ;)

I'm afraid of the phone. I DON'T LIKE PHONES! My computer would get jealous. I'm also serious.

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