ninja

fulldamage

Raised by Wolves

Gaki: writing myself Real


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ninja
fulldamage

I'm back...

It's good to be back, too, caught up in the energy of friends once again, and particularly to be able to catch a couple of days to relax for a change.

My mood is odd; off-kilter. I slept strangely last night, dreams occurring in flashes that would only last an instant or two at a time; mental flurries of motion or excitement or harmony or fast music that would slowly decay, pockmarked by images filled with blood or horror or alien grotesquery that ate away at the good dreams until I'd wake up, to find only an hour or two had passed, and have trouble closing my eyes again.

It's a mood that happens to me everytime I travel anywhere and return, the joy of returning to a familiar place after a long journey, only to discover that when you're back, you still feel as distant as you did before, and that maybe instead of coming back, you should have gone in a different direction instead, and just kept going.

It boils down to the fact that no matter where you go, you're still YOU, and if you have discontents within yourself, then changing scenery doesn't change those discontents.

It's just a mood.

I enfold myself within the energy of the East Bay, wrap her embattledness and stubbornness and fury around me, the beauty of a metropolis of real people, living next to one built of Dreams. I can feel my fangs bare themselves, my arms strengthen, my heart breaks a little bit for no real reason at all, and begins to leak venom.

Home is where you hang your hat. Smile for me. For now, I'm home.

For you:

The Top 25 Squaresoft Games of All Time -- For RPG nerds everywhere.

Punk fans Riot in Montreal -- This happened just a couple blocks from where I work; riots have a tendency to spring up wherever I go.

The NanoPutians -- Yes, that's right. Man sized molecules are using their nano-charismatic charm to teach kids about science. I can't make this shit up.

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i'm glad your home...under the conditions anyway.
returning home from traveling gives me the sense of 'good, now i can start again.
but in reality i end up running into high school class mates i used to be utterly cruel to for no particular reason, who would ultimately remind me of the person i'm so franticly trying to forget.
i've thought a lot about moving somewhere (once again) far from home..but i have the fear that if i stay in california i'm just asking to run into someone i met at a rave who i somehow fucked over for 300 pills.
Canada sounds fantastic

i've thought a lot about moving somewhere (once again) far from home..but i have the fear that if i stay in california i'm just asking to run into someone i met at a rave who i somehow fucked over for 300 pills.

You know, I've done my share of stupid shit, and the karma's still waiting to catch up to me, I know that.

But I've seen you handle every situation you ever came thru (with style, no less), and I personally think you got nothing to fear. Still even the superheroes need moral support sometimes, and you know who gots your back, whether I have to drive down from the Bay to lend a hand or not.

So Keep Ya Head Up.

Love,

Ken

glad to read you rested.

It boils down to the fact that no matter where you go, you're still YOU, and if you have discontents within yourself, then changing scenery doesn't change those discontents.

Mm. True, but i do have to ask did or does it help you see what the discontents may be? I've wondered if leaving actually helped me see what i was doing wrong, but that may be my own strange speculation.


I enfold myself within the energy of the East Bay, wrap her embattledness and stubbornness and fury around me, the beauty of a metropolis of real people, living next to one built of Dreams. I can feel my fangs bare themselves, my arms strengthen, my heart breaks a little bit for no real reason at all, and begins to leak venom.

Heh...i thought of the East side like a mugger than that. Makes it an almost enjoyable image to bring to mind =D

Mm. True, but i do have to ask did or does it help you see what the discontents may be? I've wondered if leaving actually helped me see what i was doing wrong, but that may be my own strange speculation.

It does, you know? It really does; it's only when I'm bummed that I manage to forget that part, when it seems like I'll always be in the same situations I've always been in, and that nothing ever changes.

Sometimes it takes somebody to remind me, so that I notice I've come a million miles from where I used to be, and that every day I learn more and do better, and that if I don't appreciate those around me, that's my own dumbass fault. So thanks, for the reminder. ;)

Heh...i thought of the East side like a mugger than that. Makes it an almost enjoyable image to bring to mind =D

(grin) Aw. I'm a suburban brat, no thug life here, but every city I've ever been in since I first moved away from home a decade ago, I've lived in the rough end of it. I know better than to walk down the wrong alley at the wrong time of night (and it's a lesson I learned the hard way); but I find no matter where I am, I have the most in common with people who are struggling, because I am too, in so many ways. I dunno; I'm not gonna poeticize living in ghetto-land because it's not my place to do so. I just know where I feel at home, that's all. :)

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