Raised by Wolves

Gaki: writing myself Real

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Wish my hearing was worse.

"Probably a mistake," eh?

I don't know. Maybe it was, to you. To me, it was magic. That won't change, whatever else does.

Hell. Maybe all the good things in my life HAVE been mistakes. I still wouldn't trade any of them.

There are things I wish, maybe, had happened differently. The way it all started, the way it all ended. The way I was such a baby, when it all fell apart. I wish you'd been straighter with me sooner, about where your head and heart were; that's the thing about those little white lies, like "It's not you, it's me," or, "Sure, I still want to hang out." When they finally come to light (which normally only takes a week or so, at which point you feel stupid for buying it, too), they cast into doubt everything that ever happened, so I don't know anymore whether there were moments for both of us, or whether I was just being humored, and daydreaming as usual.

I wish I knew the whole story of that last weekend, when you left in a hurry, and came back without your real face on, and couldn't stand to be around me after that. Maybe there's no story there at all; I just think about it, sometimes, and wonder.

I wish... yeah, well. If wishes were horses, right? :)

A mistake, maybe. But a dear one. To me, it was worth the cost.


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