Log in

No account? Create an account


Raised by Wolves

Gaki: writing myself Real

Previous Entry Share Next Entry

Ken vs. Match.com. Round 1 - Fight!

Ken: This quiz is dumb. Tell me something I don't know.

Robot: So you're an overly romantic neurotic mess, and you're looking for something rare. What's so dumb about that?

Ken: But I get laid like a camel goes for water. Rarely. What up?

Robot: Well, you could be having way more sex, if you stopped living in your head. Maybe you should try, I don't know, going out?

Ken: But I don't like 'out.' It's full of people. People suck. They're always babbling about sucky stupid people things, and half the time I don't even believe they're thinking at all when they talk. There's no connection. I don't want something meaningless, I want something meaningFUL.

Robot: "Oh, wah, I want something real. Boo-hoo, I'm Ken and I whine a lot. Beautiful passionate women should just fall into my lap constantly without me expending a whit of effort, because the universe revolves around my whiny ass. Oh, woe is me! Garb me in the black hoodie of eternal sorrow! Let me languish in the silent between spaces, an empty ghost of torment, knowing never more the solace of companionship, for at 27 years of age my cup runneth over. Grant me a bad Scottish accent and a clove cigarette, that I might mourn me troubles in dramatic-sounding oratory monologues of epic proportions and a deeply poignant scope, all while smelling heartbroken and cinnamony fresh! Here I lie, upon the bleak and empty field of never, waiting as the snow falls to cover my weary frame, waiting for a spring that will never arrive..."

Ken: Fuck you, robot.

  • 1
well, looks like its robot 1 ken nothing
tune in next time when ken goes for the gusto and bitch slaps the robot, while his trusty sidekick screams with fists in the air..


::nods knowingly and wanders off::

Whatever, Robot totally lost. Whatever, Ken, when we talk, sometimes, well you know, I'm Drana, and I'm a goofball and sometimes my brain and my mouth don't function at the same parallel level, isn't that okay? Aren't there some of us peoples that can get away with it? The other day I was reading Adbusters and I just got so pissed off at it I took a walk to calm down only to have run into so many assholes that I ended up thinking Adbusters had made a sucker out of me.

Let's just sit here and watch the stars okay? ::kiss:: Why is love worth fighting for?

*was drunk, hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe ehe Blah

::A moment of cat-like stillness...::


Heheh. You're cute.

"Come quickly! I am drinking the stars!" Dom Perignon, circa 1700, upon the accidental discovery of champagne.

And it's a hung jury... 1 vote for Ken, 1 vote for Robot, and 1 vote that Ken IS Robot.

There's only one way to settle this. An Iron Chef cookoff. Get those mitts ready, people.

Yay! Ironchef, I have the pot! Er...wait...um...a KETTLE, yes a kettle. ::nodnodnod.::

  • 1